Seasons of Soul and Spirit

There are periods in life when we learn and then there are periods where we test what we learn.  In this past summer, I did a great deal of testing of what I learned in this past fall, winter, and spring.  I found out that, what I learned IS true. 

None of us have to be alone in this world.  It is a simply matter of opening ones true heart to everything that has life and breath.  Having arrived at a place now, I can look back into the distance to see from where I have travelled.  I have spent some time this week remembering that place, and its hard lessons.  These lessons are standing the test of both conviction and time and have become a part of what I am now. 

I sit here and reflect on all the bad things in my life, and I realize, that as long as I accept that the only thing that I can change in the face of those bad things is myself.  Others cannot be changed by us, only pursuaded.  Situations can be manipulated, but to what outcomes and effects.  There was a time when I had such little respect for myself, I did not care what others thought of me and revelled in that position.  I still do not care what others think, because I am proud from where I have come, and my heart is open and sincere.  Those bad things that exist in my life now, pale in comparison to the problems of the past, and even if they did not, I know that I have enough strength and sincere love within me to deal with most anything.  My past has formed into a truth that acts as wisdom that provides just the right amount of defense and offense. 

In this life, nothing shall ever be perfect for us.  One of my favorite movies talks about what happiness is.  The main character is on a journey in his life, and lived in a place where happiness is always just around the next turn in the road, the feeling that it could be seen, but never truely reached.  He discovers that all he really needed to do was stop moving and stand still.  Both a heartfelt love and beauty that awes the soul exists within in each moment one simply needs to discard the biological shell that surrounds us and see with eyes of that which is truly what we are, a soul. 

Strange, how today, we have so trivialized the soul.  We have shoved the very notion into the realm of religions and mumbo jumbo, yet it is truer than then ground on which we walk.  The spirit of humanity is another forgotten concept.  Humanity frightens itself with science and our knowledge in this has far outrun our ability to disgest all the implications this science has brought to us.  There is a human element that is neither behavioral, genetic, or cognitive.  It isnt our neural connections or our genetic memory.  We need to catch up!  Some religions even attempt, through its dogma and/or practice, to arrest our notions of knowledge.  It simply says that science is wrong and the bible is correct.  I believe that somewhere down the road, science will eventually arrive at a place where both science and The Higher Being exist in concordance. 

Universal law is part of the design, and so are we.  Perhaps it is our lot to fertilize the earth with our dead bodies, or perhaps there is something more.  Science calls us a freak of nature.  How can something come from nothing?  I even believe in the concept of the Big Bang, but where did the matter come to fuel that process?  Why did that matter react in that manner?  Who says there shall be a law of gravity?  Did the law of gravity just start happening one day?  How is it we have come to see these things?  Or do they exist to us only as much as we can perceive that they do?  The laws of physics barely begins to account for the things that make us what we are in this life.  The existence of science AND the human heart is real.  Life simply is what we experience as individuals, whether scientifically investigated or a experienced through an event that touches our lives in some real way. 

The seasons once again push toward an endless changing.  Once again, my life senses change.  Ms. Elfinfelt has been an amazing soul companion.  I feel more natural with her than I have ever felt with anyone, and my passion for her runs deeply, truely, and solidly.  Ms. Elfinfelt has proven to be something quite amazing in my life.  Our similarities mostly work to our advantage, I say mostly because some of our sameness gets us into trouble. 

I have passed what I believed to be an impass in life.  Accepting what I am in entirety has opened up a deeper, more tender part of my soul.  Ms. Elfinfelt is the new recipient of this, along with everyone else I encounter in life but Ms. Elfinfelt brings a sweetness to everything I experience, all five senses, and more.  The change I sense applies to my context.  Of course, I have done a few things to encourage that change, but as if it is in the air, this change begins to effect my environment just as I do.

I think it is easier to choose paths that we believe are paths we are supposed to follow, instead of travelling the path of the sincere heart.  Ms. Elfinfelt is part of that path for me, she occupies that place in my life that is sincere, beautiful, sacred, special, and my heart has an infinite amount of love for her.  I realize now that the path to who I am is beginning to illuminate my road ahead.  My context, and the life in which I choose and inhabit is beginning to reflect a truer sense of self. 

I would be lying if I didnt say that there was a leap of faith element.  Part of this is scary, part of this is tense, but mostly I am relaxed about things as they subtly move ahead, forming into what I do not know.  I will continue to seek and somehow be lead at the same time. 

As for the seasons, they have no malice.  They are part of an endless cycle that will continue until one day the earth ceases to move.  The rain is simply rain, and the snow simply snow.  The sunshine is what it is, and the clouds that hide the sun are what they are.  They exist together without so much as a thought and each is beautiful in its nature.  How odd that for us humans, most of existence drives us from our very nature...that which we are.  Perhaps that is what going home really is, finding oneself.

I am not certain when it happened, nor am I certain what motivated the change but, since when did our government leaders become above the laws and intentions of this country.  Just about all the Bush administration is good for is a hard and all too predictable line of rhetoric designed to hit the rah! and patriotic nerve.  More surprising the the total complete lack of information/reasoning and leadership they provide the American public.  Shouldnt there be accountability?  Are we not all accountable? 

We simply know nothing more than we were told at the beginning of this mess.  Are we supposed to believe that at even this juncture, there are no alternate courses other than the one we are on?  And, if so many Americans are willing to go to war over such little information, then what other types of things are being manipulated by those who sublty control our lives. 

Again, the 'if you dont support the war you dont support our troops' mentality is spreading, apparently the history lessons we should have learned through the Vietnam War are forgotten, and here we stand reinventing the wheel once again.  There is a new era of nuclear proliferation, headed up by none other than the United States.  We are making more of them and brandishing them more than any country in the world at this time, but the clever Bush Adminstration would have you think everyone else is the threat.  In fact, it is everyone else that is responding to a threat WE have created.  Is this We the same We as in We the People?

What happened to the precious lessons that we learned in the 20th Century?  The Greatest Generation fought hard against a greedy ideology lead by a greedy insane ideologist who believed that is was right and just to throw his way of life upon the world.....Hitler did this through violence.  Now what is it we are fighting against?  Oh, that is right, terrorism, that must be why we are there imposing our way of life on another culture.  What is the game we are playing?  To what end?

As an American, I must say that the Bush rhetoric and reporting of the facts does not line up with the realities of what has and is happening....therefore no solid conclusions can be made.  There is no truth telling as to why none of these fact line up.  We know nothing.  In the United States, we seem to have an interesting one sided view of justice....some people deserve justice, others do not, and we are the judges determining who get what justice when.  Just as simple fact, this in the very heart of inequality and injustice.  Finally, we all seem to be marching to this particular drum tap, and if we are not, we seem to be disinterested, distracted or we just plain do not care.  I wonder what our forefathers think of all of this because this has become the new American Way.